Breaking the Silence: Men’s Mental Health Matters

Hey men, this one’s for you. Were you ever told growing up, or maybe even recently, to “man up” or “take it like a man”? Remember “Boys don’t cry”? Showing emotions, vulnerability? Never. That is a sign of weakness, right?

I’m guessing many of you answered yes to those questions. And if so, I’m sorry. We as a society have done you a disservice.

We live in a society where stoicism and strength are praised and vulnerability is seen as a weakness. We hear terms like “toxic masculinity” and “snowflakes” to describe either end of the spectrum. These societal norms and pressures put on men often make it challenging for them to seek help or even acknowledge their struggles. As a result, many men suffer in silence.

To help break this stigma, we have to start talking about it. In recent years, men have started to speak up more. Take NBA Player Kevin Love for example. His article in The Player’s Tribune was the first time I remember a professional athlete speaking up about his own mental health. The LA Dodgers are continuing to renew the contract of Andrew Toles so that he can have health insurance while he seeks help for Schizophrenia. We’re getting there, but it’s not enough.

I welcome all types of people into my office but my passion lies in helping men – the type of men that have been told to “toughen up”. The men that silently carry the burden of providing for a family in this economy. The “toxic masculinity” men. The men who, well, frankly, we wouldn’t expect to see walk into a therapist's office. If you are hesitant, resistant, and down right scared to try therapy, but still want to.. please call me. We can talk sports, work, kids, money, anything! I just want you in the door.

Try this on for size. What if strength looked like staring judgment in the face and telling it to… well… you know? What if it looked like facing your demons head on and defeating them? Strength can be found in between “toxic masculinity” and “snowflake”, the balance between tough and vulnerable. Strength comes in many forms; it doesn’t always look like what society has made it out to be. Maybe the strongest thing you can do is ask for help.

Grace Williamson, M.Ed, LPCC, BCN, CCTP